One of my favorite mentors recently told me:
you are living my dream life.
I wasn’t sure if I believed her.
And then on Monday morning, I got it.
With fresh new keys in my hands, I stepped into my new place.
On the corner of my new street, there’s a man who plays the accordéon on Monday mornings during the farmer’s market. I open my windows above and enjoy the gentle music over lunch.
When I go to write at the cafe by the fountain, my friend Andreas plays the piano where people are outside on the terrace enjoying their morning lattes and the last rays of sunshine.
It couldn’t be more French, organic and peaceful.
In the evenings, we walk down to eat at the restaurant downstairs, talk to the locals, and race small cars with the kids in the neighborhood (I watch, he races).
On other nights, there are live concerts on the street and we dance, laugh and run around.
The church bells ring every hour and every half hour, reminding me of the precious passing of time.
Everything we need flows towards us with ease.
We cuddle, we sleep, we laugh, we eat, we live life in its gentle ebb and flow.
We find trampolines for sale when we originally intended to buy a couch.
We get the trampoline instead.
We have neighbors who help us out with everything we need (especially getting the trampoline up two flight of stairs) and then invite us over to eat a fire roasted pizza at the park where we talk, laugh and watch Hayden play with the flowing water near by.
There is no morning commute or traffic jams to deal with.
There’s just life.
And it so preciously invigorates me with so much gratitude that whenever I fall off the positive wagon, I can use the cellular memory of peace as fuel to welcome up whatever feelings need to be felt through to completion.
All right I will admit, it’s been a bitch to go free.
Last December when I found pictures of my son’s father with his new girlfriend I made the decision to become an all loving free being (in contrast to being an angry lunatic).
I spent hours using tools I share openly here on my blog:
a forgiveness worksheet so I could write everything that was triggered by what someone said or did. Instead of rummaging over it in my head and boiling inside, the practice and tools immediately put me back in the driver seat of my life.
Instead of blaming him or anyone who resonated pain in me I understood a fundamental truth : they were helping me release what was already inside me from years ago.
So all that was left for me to do was be grateful and heal what I found triggered by the situation.
I loved up everything that was coming up and I became determined to choose love in the moment and love love love it all up so much it dissolved completely.
I consider this goal of going free achieved for my ex and I have been through just about the worst together and still – I kid you not – continue to completely respect and love each other as co-parents to our son Hayden.
The way I know I healed what I needed within is simply that the ‘what is’ happening no longer resonates pain in me.
When we had an unfortunate incident with his dog during a feeding and he bit me on the leg twice and my son on the arm twice (yes it was a bloody mess as he is a big dog but we all healed fine), was simply:
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry I created the reality of getting bit by your dog.
I knew in that moment he wouldn’t be able to keep him.
I was truly sorry.
Even when there was a bit of drama when I left to come back to France, I completely 100% had the most love for him and his girlfriend and everything the situation awakened in me.
I knew the ship was living and love was the wind in my sails (cheesy, but darn true).
Along the way, I have learned through direct experience the truth that really, love and forgiveness is the most potent power to heal the past and manifest a positive outcome.
Whether I was divinely guided to make my 2014 goal to go free or it was out of deep pain, either way, it was the right goal to ask for it gave me the magic I would need to learn I had the power to change my reality.
Everything flows now because I let go and accept the now – especially the emotions others resonated in me.
It’s my responsiblity to heal, not theirs to change so I don’t feel pain.
Even if it hurts, even if I hate what I feel, I sit and feel my feelings until I hear everything they want to tell me.
If I get stuck, I think of this monkey face, crack up and then get back to loving what is.
The journey is not over.
I am exploring many limiting beliefs and fears around money and finances I still have even though I have been doing more than well financially, I would like to reach more people and create more ways to help moms of sensitive kids out there who are hurting due to energies and lack of understanding of their own spiritual powers.
I realize becoming a mom brought on a whole array of limiting beliefs I did not have as a single young woman.
Right now I am ebbing and flowing in my practice trying to understand how to best be of service as a multi clair intuitive, a teacher, guide and intuition trainer and energy healer.
I know something juicy and fun is coming soon, but like the moments here in Forcalquier, I am letting it come to me, gently, flowing, kindly.
It’s been really nice on my earth angel wings.
Until then, let me know how I can be of service to you,
With countless wishes for peace, happiness and pockets of fun wherever you live,
PS: How I can help you…
A gentle reminder our dear planet of healing old emotions and relationships is going retrograde again October 4, 2014. You may experience electronic challenges if you resist the mercury wave pulling you inward. Often we think of old relationships, old projects and ideas…things we regret we did or didn’t do. It’s a great time to forgive, heal and release it all to experience more freedom, momentum and clear skies creatively, emotionally and financially as soon as it is done retrograding.
I am offering 4 Live Meditations with chakra/card readings exclusively for my mercury wave surfers + bonus ecourse: manifesting a sacred space. Raise your frequencies up to be equipped to welcome up the emotions that will be stirred again this month. Gentle and easy, using tools you already know and love. Come see if it might be what you would like to experience over the next three weeks with me.
If you don’t want to wait until the next Live Classes, let’s chat to see if we might be a good fit to help you party into freedom 1 on 1 with me.