When a friend triggers non-loving feelings
As soon as my friend came over yesterday,
her energy made me feel resistant and almost annoyed.
I didn’t really want to be there, spending time with her.
In the past, she would often awaken these same non loving feelings and plain old inner chaos.
I kept trying to be here and now but watching my son at the same time as practicing inner peace wasn’t easy. In fact, the inner drama resulted in outward chaos as well.
I wasn’t accepting of the now, of her, of her parenting style so her child and mine kept fighting.
Going outside helped alleviate the pressure but I was still resisting the now.
When letting go is the only way
In fact it’s only when she was about to leave and had misplaced her keys that I took the time to go into my meditation space and breathe.
I connected to the light to cut my cords of attachment to ‘finding the keys’, to our friendship, to everything. I practiced letting go.
I moved towards myself and my feelings. Towards acceptance.
Within minutes the one hour search for her keys ended.
She found her car keys and I was back in my space without the sense of chaos.
But it lingered.
I felt really tired…fatigued…beyond the lack of sleep.
This was an energetic fatigue.
This was energetic resistance, which feels like I was trying to swim up stream.
Had she caused this ? Could she have drained me of energy to that degree?
I didn’t want to blame her. I am well versed in the realm of energies. If I allowed her to take my energy that’s my problem and responsibility. I know better.
I went into a quiet space to cut my cords even more and give her energy back.
I reclaimed my own.
Going within & asking why?
I felt better immediately but the resistance to her was still there.
It had been there for far too long.
And so I pulled out my inquiry forgiveness worksheet.
I use this same worksheet in my freedom party session.
I knew the resistance came from my subconscious trying to get my attention.
So I committed time out of my morning to interview my subconscious.
I moved towards it instead of away from it into activities, work or cleaning.
It was that or pushing through the fatigue and perhaps doing less than ok work.
And so a miracle happened.
My subconscious helped me see why I had so much resistance towards her.
Within an hour of releasing and healing, I became all loving and grateful towards her and towards myself.
By resonating pain in me she helped me access old feelings I had buried over the years, unconsciously. By freeing this huge emotional and energetic weight, I felt freer, lighter and more whole.
She helped me access this promise I made to myself and to my subconscious mind:
I offer to you and to myself the unconditional acceptance to live my experience as I need to live it here with you or with others.
My intuition tells me to keep this affirmation in my back pocket this summer.
It feels like a really important promise.
Resolutions for a better life + friendships
What does unconditional acceptance mean to me right now?
I won’t try to manipulate the now or fix it so it is better (has that ever worked?)
I won’t try to seek out a French community right now immediately in a hurry to fill a fear that I won’t be happy without my Frenchies around knowing full well whatever I start from lack, ends up creating more lack.
It’s better to heal any sense of sadness or lack and then call forward what I would enjoy from a place of abundant overflowing love.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
I know manifesting magic here in Vegas is as easy as believing it’s possible and saying yes to situations and the feelings that present themselves to me, in the present moment.
This only took 1 hour out of my day.
I was quickly back to giggling with my son, swimming under a hot sun and getting strawberry kisses all over my face.
Go within and the rest takes care of itself.
Your turn to go free:
Here’s the Forgiveness Reality worksheet I use when someone resonates non loving feelings in me. The most important part is the box that asks you to ‘surrender the story/feelings/thoughts back to love’.
As I tell my private clients, when you go into heavy stuff, go in with something lighter. Think of something that helps you smile before you go into heal it. Surrendering it back to love will be that much easier.
You wouldn’t go into a dark room without the light. Take it with you first.
The worksheet is from my dear friend and mentor Michael Ryce. You can find out more about him and download his free ebook: why is this happening to me again here. He does amazing work for the planet.
When you want to choose love when triggered by health issues or relationship issues, if nature makes you feel good, go into the heavier feelings with something like the image of a crystal, a tree, or the image of your favorite pet in your mind’s eye. This will help you dissolve it back to love.
Let me know how it goes and if you need more 1:1 help, I have a very generous package to party into freedom with me.
Worlds biggest Amethyst Geode – The ‘Empress of Uruguay’ – Atherton Tablelands, Cairns.