Tonight I let out a huge part of myself be touched by all the frequencies of joy.
Using my whole body
arms
hands
feet and knees
I played with my heart
wide open to the giggles of my child
I let every sound come out of his vocal box
resonate vibrations of peace and joy within me too
why not be a sponge to those who are in joy?
why only seek to feel those who need the healing?
I learned tonight I could use my gift of clairsentience to open up
and let all the joy of his pure heart
touch me deeply
like skilled fingers on guitar strings
I let him play as though stomping exuberantly inside my cushiony heart.
We played hide and seek
We ran through thick noisy maple leaves
I followed him and realized how fun this really was
We ran in each other’s arms
He kissed me
mama mama oh oh oh mama mama
I thought of how much I missed his father
the innocence in our relationship somewhat lost
among cloth diapers
burps and fevers
somewhat lost among
hospital bills
stress
retreats
and Hawaii
Hawaii which left me very vulnerable for months thereafter.
Sometimes saying yes to something much bigger than myself is not just a fun challenge
it can also be a learning curve and I might have to accept being at the bottom of that learning curve
When I start…
…only now to realize there is nothing I could have done differently.
It was all perfect.
So thank you angels for bringing us all together under one roof to live out the drama our egos needed to live through
Today I am happy I feel safe where I am and with whom I am.
I hope tonight sweet friends you too feel loved and protected and can find the joy
in the right sized abundance for you.
Sober or not, it truly doesn’t matter.
I just like it when joy has no opposite.
No need to consume something outside of myself that has greasy yucky residue
whether it be love,
affection,
money,
work
and all that rock n roll,
It can leave sticky stains on our souls and we get lost
in that foggy mess
wondering where are we?
ou est? ou est?
asks my son when he hides his little cars underneath a pillow.
Pretending I really can’t see the huge car under the tiny pillow I ask…
playing his game
ou est la voiture? ou est? Where is the car?
He lifts the pillow and gives me the most delicious sound in the universe.
the sound of finding something he himself had hidden
what if finding one’s lost soul
was as easy as first finding the most delicious sound echoed
from within ourselves
?
let yourself shine
let yourself be free
it is most important you find that soulful car
hidden underneath a tiny pillow
and burst out laughing too.
